< PainBreak> First, separate two yolks into a glass bowl, and add a squeeze of lemon juice. Next, put 1 stick of margarine (fuck yes, margarine)
in a pyrex measuring cup and microwave it for approximately 1 minute, until it's melted and hot, but hasn't yet exploded.
< PainBreak> Then, whisk the eggs and lemon juice together...and slowly pour in the hot margarine, making sure to keep whisking the whole time.
< PainBreak> Next, put the glass bowl in the microwave for 7 seconds. Whisk. 7 more seconds. Whisk. 7 more seconds. Whisk.
< PainBreak> Do that a few times, and you'll get a perfectly-thickened, lump-free, fucking easy as hell hollandaise
< PainBreak> And since you used margarine, it emulsifies easier, and has the perfect salt content.
< PainBreak> Whisk in some cayenne, and you're done.